Fanfic - Mind Blowing Blue Part 8
Dec. 15th, 2005 02:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
motylikOkey, so this is the end. ;) I'm really awefully sorry it took me so long but college has been awefully exhausting. Plus there's christmas around the corner so I didn't actually have a lot of free time.
Tell me what you think please. I'm never actually sure how I feel about my writing. *lol*
Previously: Jerked out of her thoughts by the suddenly ringing doorbell, Lauren tries not to think too much about who it might be. The hopeful side of her had been crushed a couple of too many times these past few weeks.
Part 8:
But right now it has reason enough to start a whole parade. Lauren gulps down her surprise, trying to look less thrilled than she feels.
‘He was an ass all these past weeks,’ is her current mantra. She can’t let him see that she is happy that he finally came.
Scott tries to cough away his nervousness, but looking at Lauren, who hasn’t moved an inch since she opened the door, his nervousness just increases.
"Uhm, Hi."
Lauren raises her eyebrows, before she greets him back. A simple Hi won’t get him inside her house he knows now.
"Well, I wanted to, for a while now, well." He can see that her patience is running thin fast, forgetting anything he had prepared, he decides to just plunge right ahead. And pray to come out of it unharmed.
"I’m sorry. For everything. I’ve been a colossal asshole, and you don’t deserve that, and I’m really really sorry. Could we please discuss this inside?"
He can see the battle going on inside Lauren, and instantly hates himself for putting her in such a position in the first place. His first instinct is to apologize again, but he somehow knows that if he uses that too often she’ll stop believing that he is serious about this.
Changing his approach, he fleetingly prays that this won’t make everything even worse.
"I just thought, you know we have to work together, so we at least have to find some sort of truce or middle ground or whatever. If for nothing else than for our work."
The shift in her eyes and thinking is visible before she even moves an inch. Wordlessly letting him inside she marches right into her living room, leaving him to close the door.
He is surprised to find that she seems less furious than hurt. That momentarily throws him for a loop since he is used to dealing with an angry and seething Lauren, but hurt? That’s new, and completely his fault too.
They stand in her living room a couple of feet away from each other, Lauren’s arms protectively crossed in front of her, Hannah watching them with interest from her corner of the room. He can tell that she is trying not to think, not to go through all the scenarios of what could happen in her head. It is hard to try and not to expect anything from a situation, he knows this all too well, constantly fighting to push his hopes that she might forgive him into the back of his mind.
"You wanted to talk?"
‘No wonder she’s so good at poker. Neither her voice, nor her face give anything away. Damn.’
"I just. Well I just wanted to really apologize again. I would have brought flowers but I didn’t think that would really help anything. I’ve been an ass. Not only today and before you left, but before that too." He is doing a good job talking around the thing without really calling it by name and he really hopes he will get through with it.
"Honestly. I don’t even know how to start to excuse any of my behaviour lately. I am constantly trying to come up with anything that I could do to make this better, but other than apologizing over and over there isn’t really anything more I can do."
He looks at her expectantly then, slightly disappointed by the fact that Lauren still seems cold to him. And he is running out of ideas fast. Raising both of his eyebrows he tries to signal to her that it was her turn to say something.
"What do you want me to do? Give you a hug and say everything is forgiven? Just because you apologized, finally I might add?"
Scott is surprised by the hurt in her voice that is only barely covered by anger. He wavers long enough for Lauren to think that he has no answer to that. And when her eyes fill with something that he can’t quite identify he is for the first time forced to face the reality of the situation. He might have screwed up so bad that this time he won’t be able to charm his ways back into her good graces.
Lauren takes a deep breath, thinking that now is better than never, she tries to at least somehow ask the one question plaguing her mind ever since that one night.
"I would have loved to ask you why you left that night, but I was afraid that I didn’t want to know the answer."
He is startled by the shift in the conversation, startled that she is giving him at least some sort of chance to explain himself. Watching her stand across from him, looking as if she was facing a battle she didn’t know if she came out of alive, not able to meet his eyes, he decides that she deserves to know the truth. He would answer the question she had been too afraid to ask, and he would try to not lose the only woman who he had been compelled to be honest with completely.
"I was scared." Scott is surprised how easy it is to confess it aloud to her, he even feels relieved somehow.
Lauren looks up at him, and their eyes meet for the first time since their talk turned into this and he can see the surprise in the blue oceans looking at him. She seems to be seeing him for the first time, while their eyes have a conversation of their own. For the first time he doesn’t feel like he needs to look away and hopes that she won’t break their connection either.
"Daniel proposed. Well sort of. He said he was planning to but that he would wait, given the situation."
Scott is somehow aware that they lost their grip on the situation ever since their eyes met. His brain isn’t fully conscious of how that information has to do with anything, but his heart seems to know all too well. He can see that Lauren isn’t fully sure why she said that either, and it would be comical how they seemed to repress this so much that it became something completely separate from their conscious thoughts, if it all weren’t so serious and heartbreaking.
Lauren looks at him, trying to decipher his reaction. After all she didn’t just say it out of fun, now, did she? They are venturing into unknown territory and she is trying to suppress the feeling of floating somewhere above without a safety net below.
"I didn’t know you two were that serious."
She is somehow surprised when his answer finally comes. The anger comes up again and she can’t really help it.
"Should you have? Plus I didn’t either." ‘I have to get a grip on my temper.’ Lauren starts hoping that her short outburst, followed by a peace offering right after, won’t completely destroy their connection. She has a feeling that if they don’t hash it out now, they never will.
Scott takes a deep breath. He isn’t really sure whether he is prepared to tell her what he is about to say, but there is no way he can stand it if they beat around the bush any longer.
"I can’t tell you not to date him. For one it’s only really your business who you date and secondly I don’t think I could do or deal with what that would imply. You know that I don’t do commitment, and even as I tried to tell myself that I could do it I know that I would only be fooling myself. And I don’t want to hurt you, or break your heart, anymore than I already did."
Lauren’s shoulders visibly sag during Scott’s speech and she fights to not break their gaze.
She tries to get a handle on her emotions, knowing that there is no other way than to be mature about this, despite the fact that she wants nothing more than to be six years old and whine through this until she gets what she wants.
"I don’t do casual."
Scott nods, feeling incredibly better now that their feelings are at least partly out in the open.
"You shouldn’t. You deserve more." Grinning at the brunette woman in front of him, he knows that he’ll probably never stop feeling about her the way he does now. But knowing that somehow she feels the same, that she is mourning what could have been the way he is, makes it all better. He at least doesn’t feel that much alone.
Lauren can’t help but grin back at him. She can’t help but marvel at how the man across from her always manages to charm his way back into her good books. Although this is only the beginning, he still has a lot of making up to do.
They are standing there, grinning at each other like fools, for a couple of long minutes until the silence starts to get too awkward and Lauren can’t help but break it. Patience never was her virtue anyway.
"So, what does this mean?"
Immediately sobering up, Scott realises that it will take a while before he is left off the hook, and she really deserves every minute of it.
"I thought, maybe we can be friends? For a start? And see how that goes?"
‘Damn you Patterson. You could have left that hopeful hint at the future out of it.’
He sees the wheels turning in her head, and fears that maybe she’ll finally lose it and will slap him for even trying to imply that there ever might be anything other than friendship ahead of them as a possibility. But the hit never comes, instead she smiles a shy smile, that soon turns into a full fledged grin when she notes his discomfort.
"Fine, that sounds reasonable."
Lauren begins to laugh uncontrollably when Scott lets out a breath of relief at that and he can’t help but chuckle with her.
"You know that I’m still sorry for how I behaved. And I always will be."
The smile he gets in return makes him believe that one day they are going to be alright, and that’s more than he could hope for.
Moving in for a quick hug, he notices for the first time that Lauren really looks beat.
"You know I called my friend the general, but they didn’t let me get through to him. If I find out anything new, I’ll let you know. I really hope your friend is okay."
There’s a twinkle in her eyes, he can’t quite identify when she thanks him for his concern, but maybe one day he’ll understand.
She is leading him out of the door when he finally gets the courage to ask, what had been plaguing his mind ever since their conversation started.
"What will you tell Daniel?"
She shrugs her shoulders in response, gives him a mysterious smile and one of her awkward winks, before she ushers him out of her house with a quick, "See you tomorrow."
Standing in front of her closed door, he chuckles to himself, feeling light-headed and immensely happy at the way this had gone. She could have after all just kicked him out much earlier.
Lauren leans against the door, thinking, that with one thing less weighing heavy on her mind, breathing had suddenly become much easier. Figuring everything out didn’t seem that bad anymore either, since now at least, she had some sort of idea where Scott stood on the whole topic.
Amy’s POV:
I have no idea what happened after Alexis and I left Lauren alone, but something must have, because Scott and Lauren’s relationship has been miraculously repaired. Not only are they civil to each other, they are nice to each other! Matt is having a field day with the speculations but he is getting absolutely nowhere. Lauren has already promised Alexis and I that she would invite us over for dinner and spill the beans finally if we would just be able to be patient up until then. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m being patient, although watching Lauren and Scott laugh comfortably together during their lunch break isn’t helping to quell my curiosity. But when it comes down to it, I don’t care what their problem was or how they solved it, as long as they did and everything is alright again.
I really was worried for a while, because both of them deserve to be happy and neither looked like they were.
Sometimes I marvel at how stupid those two are. They seem to not be able to see what is right in front of them. If they could just quit being so stubborn and find some sort of middle ground. They’d make a hell of a couple then. And I would have partly brought them together because they met during the shooting of my show. That would make me really proud.
Just imagine the beautiful babies those two would have. Well I can at least write that into the show, maybe then it’ll happen in real life too. The blue eyes the babies would have would truly be mind blowing!
Tell me what you think please. I'm never actually sure how I feel about my writing. *lol*
Previously: Jerked out of her thoughts by the suddenly ringing doorbell, Lauren tries not to think too much about who it might be. The hopeful side of her had been crushed a couple of too many times these past few weeks.
Part 8:
But right now it has reason enough to start a whole parade. Lauren gulps down her surprise, trying to look less thrilled than she feels.
‘He was an ass all these past weeks,’ is her current mantra. She can’t let him see that she is happy that he finally came.
Scott tries to cough away his nervousness, but looking at Lauren, who hasn’t moved an inch since she opened the door, his nervousness just increases.
"Uhm, Hi."
Lauren raises her eyebrows, before she greets him back. A simple Hi won’t get him inside her house he knows now.
"Well, I wanted to, for a while now, well." He can see that her patience is running thin fast, forgetting anything he had prepared, he decides to just plunge right ahead. And pray to come out of it unharmed.
"I’m sorry. For everything. I’ve been a colossal asshole, and you don’t deserve that, and I’m really really sorry. Could we please discuss this inside?"
He can see the battle going on inside Lauren, and instantly hates himself for putting her in such a position in the first place. His first instinct is to apologize again, but he somehow knows that if he uses that too often she’ll stop believing that he is serious about this.
Changing his approach, he fleetingly prays that this won’t make everything even worse.
"I just thought, you know we have to work together, so we at least have to find some sort of truce or middle ground or whatever. If for nothing else than for our work."
The shift in her eyes and thinking is visible before she even moves an inch. Wordlessly letting him inside she marches right into her living room, leaving him to close the door.
He is surprised to find that she seems less furious than hurt. That momentarily throws him for a loop since he is used to dealing with an angry and seething Lauren, but hurt? That’s new, and completely his fault too.
They stand in her living room a couple of feet away from each other, Lauren’s arms protectively crossed in front of her, Hannah watching them with interest from her corner of the room. He can tell that she is trying not to think, not to go through all the scenarios of what could happen in her head. It is hard to try and not to expect anything from a situation, he knows this all too well, constantly fighting to push his hopes that she might forgive him into the back of his mind.
"You wanted to talk?"
‘No wonder she’s so good at poker. Neither her voice, nor her face give anything away. Damn.’
"I just. Well I just wanted to really apologize again. I would have brought flowers but I didn’t think that would really help anything. I’ve been an ass. Not only today and before you left, but before that too." He is doing a good job talking around the thing without really calling it by name and he really hopes he will get through with it.
"Honestly. I don’t even know how to start to excuse any of my behaviour lately. I am constantly trying to come up with anything that I could do to make this better, but other than apologizing over and over there isn’t really anything more I can do."
He looks at her expectantly then, slightly disappointed by the fact that Lauren still seems cold to him. And he is running out of ideas fast. Raising both of his eyebrows he tries to signal to her that it was her turn to say something.
"What do you want me to do? Give you a hug and say everything is forgiven? Just because you apologized, finally I might add?"
Scott is surprised by the hurt in her voice that is only barely covered by anger. He wavers long enough for Lauren to think that he has no answer to that. And when her eyes fill with something that he can’t quite identify he is for the first time forced to face the reality of the situation. He might have screwed up so bad that this time he won’t be able to charm his ways back into her good graces.
Lauren takes a deep breath, thinking that now is better than never, she tries to at least somehow ask the one question plaguing her mind ever since that one night.
"I would have loved to ask you why you left that night, but I was afraid that I didn’t want to know the answer."
He is startled by the shift in the conversation, startled that she is giving him at least some sort of chance to explain himself. Watching her stand across from him, looking as if she was facing a battle she didn’t know if she came out of alive, not able to meet his eyes, he decides that she deserves to know the truth. He would answer the question she had been too afraid to ask, and he would try to not lose the only woman who he had been compelled to be honest with completely.
"I was scared." Scott is surprised how easy it is to confess it aloud to her, he even feels relieved somehow.
Lauren looks up at him, and their eyes meet for the first time since their talk turned into this and he can see the surprise in the blue oceans looking at him. She seems to be seeing him for the first time, while their eyes have a conversation of their own. For the first time he doesn’t feel like he needs to look away and hopes that she won’t break their connection either.
"Daniel proposed. Well sort of. He said he was planning to but that he would wait, given the situation."
Scott is somehow aware that they lost their grip on the situation ever since their eyes met. His brain isn’t fully conscious of how that information has to do with anything, but his heart seems to know all too well. He can see that Lauren isn’t fully sure why she said that either, and it would be comical how they seemed to repress this so much that it became something completely separate from their conscious thoughts, if it all weren’t so serious and heartbreaking.
Lauren looks at him, trying to decipher his reaction. After all she didn’t just say it out of fun, now, did she? They are venturing into unknown territory and she is trying to suppress the feeling of floating somewhere above without a safety net below.
"I didn’t know you two were that serious."
She is somehow surprised when his answer finally comes. The anger comes up again and she can’t really help it.
"Should you have? Plus I didn’t either." ‘I have to get a grip on my temper.’ Lauren starts hoping that her short outburst, followed by a peace offering right after, won’t completely destroy their connection. She has a feeling that if they don’t hash it out now, they never will.
Scott takes a deep breath. He isn’t really sure whether he is prepared to tell her what he is about to say, but there is no way he can stand it if they beat around the bush any longer.
"I can’t tell you not to date him. For one it’s only really your business who you date and secondly I don’t think I could do or deal with what that would imply. You know that I don’t do commitment, and even as I tried to tell myself that I could do it I know that I would only be fooling myself. And I don’t want to hurt you, or break your heart, anymore than I already did."
Lauren’s shoulders visibly sag during Scott’s speech and she fights to not break their gaze.
She tries to get a handle on her emotions, knowing that there is no other way than to be mature about this, despite the fact that she wants nothing more than to be six years old and whine through this until she gets what she wants.
"I don’t do casual."
Scott nods, feeling incredibly better now that their feelings are at least partly out in the open.
"You shouldn’t. You deserve more." Grinning at the brunette woman in front of him, he knows that he’ll probably never stop feeling about her the way he does now. But knowing that somehow she feels the same, that she is mourning what could have been the way he is, makes it all better. He at least doesn’t feel that much alone.
Lauren can’t help but grin back at him. She can’t help but marvel at how the man across from her always manages to charm his way back into her good books. Although this is only the beginning, he still has a lot of making up to do.
They are standing there, grinning at each other like fools, for a couple of long minutes until the silence starts to get too awkward and Lauren can’t help but break it. Patience never was her virtue anyway.
"So, what does this mean?"
Immediately sobering up, Scott realises that it will take a while before he is left off the hook, and she really deserves every minute of it.
"I thought, maybe we can be friends? For a start? And see how that goes?"
‘Damn you Patterson. You could have left that hopeful hint at the future out of it.’
He sees the wheels turning in her head, and fears that maybe she’ll finally lose it and will slap him for even trying to imply that there ever might be anything other than friendship ahead of them as a possibility. But the hit never comes, instead she smiles a shy smile, that soon turns into a full fledged grin when she notes his discomfort.
"Fine, that sounds reasonable."
Lauren begins to laugh uncontrollably when Scott lets out a breath of relief at that and he can’t help but chuckle with her.
"You know that I’m still sorry for how I behaved. And I always will be."
The smile he gets in return makes him believe that one day they are going to be alright, and that’s more than he could hope for.
Moving in for a quick hug, he notices for the first time that Lauren really looks beat.
"You know I called my friend the general, but they didn’t let me get through to him. If I find out anything new, I’ll let you know. I really hope your friend is okay."
There’s a twinkle in her eyes, he can’t quite identify when she thanks him for his concern, but maybe one day he’ll understand.
She is leading him out of the door when he finally gets the courage to ask, what had been plaguing his mind ever since their conversation started.
"What will you tell Daniel?"
She shrugs her shoulders in response, gives him a mysterious smile and one of her awkward winks, before she ushers him out of her house with a quick, "See you tomorrow."
Standing in front of her closed door, he chuckles to himself, feeling light-headed and immensely happy at the way this had gone. She could have after all just kicked him out much earlier.
Lauren leans against the door, thinking, that with one thing less weighing heavy on her mind, breathing had suddenly become much easier. Figuring everything out didn’t seem that bad anymore either, since now at least, she had some sort of idea where Scott stood on the whole topic.
Amy’s POV:
I have no idea what happened after Alexis and I left Lauren alone, but something must have, because Scott and Lauren’s relationship has been miraculously repaired. Not only are they civil to each other, they are nice to each other! Matt is having a field day with the speculations but he is getting absolutely nowhere. Lauren has already promised Alexis and I that she would invite us over for dinner and spill the beans finally if we would just be able to be patient up until then. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m being patient, although watching Lauren and Scott laugh comfortably together during their lunch break isn’t helping to quell my curiosity. But when it comes down to it, I don’t care what their problem was or how they solved it, as long as they did and everything is alright again.
I really was worried for a while, because both of them deserve to be happy and neither looked like they were.
Sometimes I marvel at how stupid those two are. They seem to not be able to see what is right in front of them. If they could just quit being so stubborn and find some sort of middle ground. They’d make a hell of a couple then. And I would have partly brought them together because they met during the shooting of my show. That would make me really proud.
Just imagine the beautiful babies those two would have. Well I can at least write that into the show, maybe then it’ll happen in real life too. The blue eyes the babies would have would truly be mind blowing!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-15 02:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-15 02:13 pm (UTC)Das Ende mit Amy war cool. Hihi. Finds toll dass sie denkt dass die zwei einfach zamghörn. Oh man! =) Und der letzte Satz war überhaupt supa. Sehr schön zrückbracht zum Titel der FF! Und yep, wie wahr. Wenns scho net im wahren Leben passiert - Amy kann das immer noch alles in die Show einbaun! :)
Hoff du schreibst mal wieder eine Story weil du kannst das richtig gut! *umärmel*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-16 02:50 pm (UTC)wie gez dir eigentlich? lang nimma was von dir ghört...
sequal?
Date: 2005-12-15 05:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-12-16 06:35 pm (UTC)and hey,it did*grins*.really I think it´s the perfect ending for this.Loved how you wrote it!not just the chapter,the whole story.
Einfach Spitze!
Date: 2005-12-17 02:45 pm (UTC)Kris *hug*
Great :)
Date: 2006-01-02 11:54 pm (UTC)heart warming... and heart breaking
Date: 2006-01-04 05:01 pm (UTC)cu soon,
Florian ;)
Re: heart warming... and heart breaking
Date: 2006-07-04 12:46 pm (UTC)ff
Date: 2006-01-05 09:24 pm (UTC)